Resting

I have recently been doing a hell of a lot, but this also means my art practice has taken a hit. I’ve been involved in many art related things, including starting a proper website to make painting ground into a proper platform, with artists on there being represented through the available works store, podcast and starting to do workshops as well.

William Ludwig Lutgens Studio in Antwerp

I’ve been travelling around Europe, first trip this year was Oslo to see Munch, then I visited Belgium with my partner, there we saw many a great paintings at SMAK gallery, in Ghent, one by an artist I was familiar with William Ludwig Lutgens, which then led to a spontaneous visit to his studio in Antwerp. It’s truly amazing the amount of opportunities that can just come out of taking actions so small, but all these actions require a good amount of REST too! This is something I feel William understood, something his work kind of talked about too… this exhaustion that comes about when we keep doing stuff that brings us pleasure but can also inflict pain upon ourselves. He calls it 'Joy Sauce' from the Lacanian concept of jouissance, a paradoxical form of pleasure which transcends mere enjoyment and often goes hand in hand with excess or pain.

That idea really speaks to me, battling self-destructive habits, some of which tend to feel good but are slowly destroying me from the inside. Something I talked to my partner about recently was feeling like when I was smoking and drinking, I was making way more work, than when I started to take health more seriously, which helped but I think I’m reading it wrong. I don’t think I was making more work because of the bad habits, it was just I had more free time to make it, no other jobs in the way, less pressure. My dad was also still alive and a lot of the dynamics with friends and family were different. Life changes, I adapted and the outcome is I still make work the same way, it’s always been big periods of prolific making followed by periods of rest and not making as much. The question I’m asking myself is, how the hell do I just do everything?

It seems to me it’s a time management issue, something I think having Aspergers doesn’t help with, and maybe also being a little bit of a people pleaser to an extent which can also be draining. I want to do stuff to help others but then I need to make sure I help myself feel alright too. This is being human, this battle we face maybe a curse of capitalism too, the need to secure income to be able to live. which is why I’m engaging more with minimalism to be able to cut out unnecessary things that cost me money and time to be able to focus on what’s really important: The art, friendships, family, health, LOVE and of course REST.

Being intentional with our time is important, you have to periodically audit schedules, possessions, friends, what is bringing us joy and what is not and rebalance! Seems sterile but certainly helps.